I weighed myself yesterday, finally! 195.6.  Less than I thought it would be!  So that's something to be excited about, for sure.  Granted, I am 5'4" and feel comfortable around 150 and am truly "healthy" at 130-140, so I have a long ways to go.

I'm still having the same issues of being all motivated at night before bed when I'm reflecting on my bad decisions of the day, ready to tackle the world tomorrow.  But when I actually face the day in the morning, I am so easily swayed.  I rarely take the time to think through a decision and impulsively will eat what I want in that moment.

I have a few ideas for how to tackle that.
1) Consistency is key! Or so I've heard.  People who have lost weight claim that eating the same few things over and over again was really helpful.  It takes the guesswork out and keeps you regimented.   have the tendency to get a hairbrained idea like "hm, tonight I want to make a giant pot of spaghetti bolognese!" Or "I want a cookie so I'll make an entire batch right now!"  By eating the same few meals over and over I'll surely be bored but maybe my brain will be less likely to make those snap decisions.
2) Meditation...?  I feel weird writing that.  I have no intention of getting cross-legged on the floor of the nurses lounge when I feel a craving for a cookie to ohm my way through it.  But I've heard that mindfulness is helpful for people with impulsive eating problems.  If you really think about how you feel, how you really FEEL in the moment, maybe you can identify a need besides the cookie.  Maybe you're really thirsty, or you're feeling stressed or sad or isolated.  And then you can scratch the real itch rather than slapping a delicious warm gooey guilt-inducing bandaid on it.  This is something that will take A LOT of practice.  I am basically the opposite of mindful when it comes to food.  I'm thinking I might start trying to become more mindful independent of food first....like maybe I'll set an alarm on my cell to go off every hour on the dot, and when it goes off I take a minute to close my eyes and breathe and re-calibrate.  Maybe by doing that and getting in the practice of checking in with myself, that practice will cross over into helping me tackle cravings and impulse food decisions.

Today I did great and ate healthy until I got home from work, was exhausted, and ate 4 slices of sourdough bread with butter.  Seriously.  Why???????  Perhaps if I had been in the habit of a post-work green smoothie I would have made that instead, and if I had been in the practice of thinking through my impulses I would have realized that I wasn't actually hungry for the bread, in retrospect I was really thirsty and very tired.

So, I'm gonna give this a try over the next few days and see what happens.