I'm creating this blog to try and become more accountable about my health and ultimately my life. I have lived the past few years with about 50-60 pounds of excess weight on me, and that weight represents so much more than unhealthy food. It represents anger and shame, fear and loneliness, regret and resentment. I have a lot of things from childhood that I haven't quite let go of yet and that can literally be seen on my body in pounds of fat.
For years I've sat on the sidelines of life, blaming others for my problems and consoling myself with meal after meal after meal. I have so much going for me. A great family (albeit the source of much of my stress and anger), lovely, supportive friends, a challenging job, and I live in a brand new city that I am so excited to explore.
I am so tired of feeling lost and I want to find myself. I want to treat my body with respect and love rather than with anger. By creating this blog I want to hold myself accountable to eating respectfully, staying on top of my weight, and using this internet-void as a place to vent and cry and cheer and console myself when I need it. I fully expect no one will ever read this (and frankly, that's fine with me. Shit's gonna get REAL). But I hope just the act of making myself vulnerable and getting out of my head will help me finally, at age 26, learn to love and take care of myself.
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